People lie. Who doesn't? People who claim that they have not lie at one point in their lives are fucked up. This could be the most bullshit thing you'll ever heard from someone. So it's a fact...we all lie and we all have the tendency of lying.

The way i see it...everyone has his/her reason/s for lying. But lying, whatever the reasons, may it be good or bad doesn't cover up the stain of the act. Lies are still lies...whatever they are. Did you read me? LIES.

The worst part of course is that when you know the truth and the other person still insisted that he/she must lie for some certain, apparent reason. That sucks! I mean, why lie? Okay, my point is debatable so I have to be a little specific.

There's this mutant...I asked something so nice and something so honest. Of course I know the truth, and my purpose for inquiring is merely for validation. Just to know if this mutant will affirmed to the truth. Only to find out that this friggin' mutant will give me the "pre-meditated lie"....what a bugger! To top it all, the issue for lying is not even a BIG thing...it's trivial, and the way I see it, only fucked up person would do that.

Okay, I'm fucked up too...and i hate this entry.

I'm mad because i'm putting such worry to myself.

Here's a flower for my grave.

"I love you."

When was the last time I said those fucking words? And even now, I cringed as I typed them. I can’t say those words…not even to my parents. But why is it that everytime I see you, it’s like the words wanted to burst from my mouth in an instant. Just saying it would make me better. I’m sure it will. Making you aware of what I feel makes a whole lot of difference. I’m sure reciprocation is but the strangest but one thing is sure. I know it will give me peace knowing that you know how I feel.

I am a selfish shit! I wanted to say those words even if you’re going to disgust me after. I wanted to shout it to your face even though I’ll see those awful cringe once again. I will dare tell it to you and give you the reason to be uncomfortable but remember, I’ll only say it once. The second time…you have to dig a hole and bury me.

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You know what? saying those words makes me feel like I'm riding a rocketship...it wants to burst really bad, and then you soar so high you wouldn't know how to stop...then after awhile, you'll have nowhere to go but TO GO DOWN. Then comes, regret.

In the strangest way, this person has stopped recognizing y existence. I mean, she knows I exist, in fact we see each other almost all our lives but then again I feel that she is unable to see me anymore. I feel like a wind to her. It’s like I was just passing and although she noticed me, she never did once look into my eyes or maybe she did but it was a fleeting moment. So brief that I never met her.

Maybe the fault is mine too. Should I be honest? How? The truth is…I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how to deal with y feelings that sometimes I don’t recognize them myself.

What bothers me right now is that…I wanted to see her face and hate her at the same time. I’m a bitter soul and she should have never met me in the first place because she made me realized how this bitterness could eat the whole of me. Eventually, it will affect other people, except myself…thus the inability to feel.

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when i make an entry, as much as possible, i try to include an image. sometimes, it captures the meaning i want to convey, most of the time it does not. but this image would probably be the closest...a broken mirror!

She came blood in the streets runs a river of sadness

She came blood in the streets it's up to my thigh

She came the river runs red down the legs of a city

She came the women are crying red rivers of weepin'

She came into town and then she drove away

Sunlight in her hair

Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding

Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind

Blood in the streets in the town of New Haven

Blood stains the roofs and the palm trees of Venice

Blood in my love in the terrible summer

Bloody red sun of Phantastic L.A.

Blood screams her brain as they chop off her fingers

Blood will be born in the birth of a nation

Blood is the rose of mysterious union

There's blood in the streets, it's up to my ankles

Blood in the streets, it's up to my knee

Blood in the streets in the town of Chicago

Blood on the rise, it's following me ---------